This prayer inspires in me a longing to be with Jesus as the Apostles were. The love which they experienced from Him is so overwhelming I can’t even imagine having that kind of love, even from my parents if they were alive.
To understand what I am saying one would have to live a day in my shoes; to have lived my life in so much poverty, sometimes we didn’t know if we would have the next meal. My dad was a good man. He was a hardworking man. In my recollection he worked in a sawmill; he cut and hauled logs to the sawmill. Once his foot was crushed when the logs rolled on his foot. This happened several times. He worked in an iron ore mine; he worked building roads for the WPA. He worked for farmers when they needed help harvesting their fields; or when they needed help butchering. Most of the time when he helped farmers he got paid in produce like black-eyed peas or hams and bacon, when they butchered. Of course this was during and immediately following the great depression of 1929 when there were no jobs to be found.
In other words he was a good man but he did not know how to show his love for his children. The only way he demonstrated it was by doing what he had to do to keep food on the table, a roof over our heads and clothes on our backs. That was his way of showing us he loved us. It was that kind of love Jesus had for His disciples and the love He has for us, only on a deeper level than even a parent has for his child.
I wonder if it is possible for a human being, other than Jesus, the God-man to love on that level; to have that deep compassion and true love for another human being. Without the Holy Spirit, I don’t believe it is possible. At least in my experience, I have never known another person who was capable of loving with that committed devotion, even a devout believer.
This passage of scripture says to me, God and Jesus were One. Jesus desired for the disciples to be included in that unity, just as He desires for each of us to be unified with each other and with Him in such a close union.
It is my desire to be that close with the Lord. That is what I have prayed for. However, I don’t know if I have demonstrated and put forth the concerted effort it would take to be that close to the Lord. I believe it would take a constant meditating on the Word of God, a consistent prayer life and a burning in my soul to be as one with Him. There are too many distractions; too much interference from outside forces and from the enemy of our soul, Satan. He does not want us to be that close to the Lord. Therefore he throws all these distractions at us, putting up road blocks to hinder us, to sidetrack us in an ever increasing effort to prevent us from having fellowship with God.
If that is the case, how can one ever be in union with the Lord as the disciples were? In this life of so many worldly things to distract us, with so many forces working against us, how is it possible to have that sought after relationship with Him? And yet, my heart yearns for that oneness, that divine Spirit to consume me; to envelope me in His love and compassion and mercy and grace. It is the desire of my very soul to be consumed by His Spirit and to be one with Him.
“……you will seek the Lord your God, and you will find Him if you search for Him with all your heart and all your soul.” (Deut. 4:29 NASB)
Nell Berry