First the death of his infant son. David must have thought that the worst was past. After all, what else could happen that would be worse than losing your infant child?
But the death of the baby was only the beginning.
The next thing that happened involved two of David’s children: Amnon, his first-born son, and Amnon’s half-sister, Tamar.
The first hint we have of this tragedy is in 2 Samual 13:1: “And it came to pass after this, that Absalom the son of David had a fair sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her.”
Here we see that Amnon loved Tamar.
This seems strange to us in our day and age, yet in Bible times, it wasn’t unusual for someone to marry his half-sister. Even Sarah was Abraham’s half-sister. So as strange as it may seem to our ears, this wasn’t an uncommon occurrence. All Amnon would have had to do was speak to the king, and more than likely Tamar would have been given to him as his wife. This is, in fact, validated by Tamar’s own words: “Now therefore, please speak to the king; for he will not withhold me from you.” (2 Sam 13:13-14 NKJV)
But Amnon did no such thing. Instead he feigned illness and then asked the king if his sister could come to his house to cook for him. It must have seemed innocent enough to David, because he sent a message to Tamar telling her to do just that, to go and cook for Amnon!
But when she had done this, the Bible tells us Amnon sent everyone else out of the house and, in the words of the Bible, “…being stronger than she, he forced her and lay with her.” (2 Sam 13:14 NKJV)
In plain and simple language, Amnon committed incest. He raped his sister.
Now the rape of Tamar was bad enough, but Amnon could have reversed this wrong. He could have married Tamar, thus liberating her from a life of shame. But he didn’t. Instead, we are told that after having defiled her, Amnon hated Tamar more fiercely than he had previously loved her.
Though she begged him not to do so, Amnon threw her out of the house, and from Tamar’s prospective, her life was ruined. “Now she had on a robe of many colors, for the king’s virgin daughters wore such apparel … Then Tamar put ashes on her head, and tore her robe of many colors that was on her, and laid her hand on her head and went away crying bitterly.” (2 Sam. 13: 18, 19 NKJV); and “So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom’s house.” (2 Sam 13:20b NKJV)
You see, one sin can so easily lead us deeper into sin, deeper into selfishness, deeper into hurting others for our own gain.
But wait a minute. How does this have anything to do with David? Amnon was obviously an adult, he made his own decisions!
True enough. But if you think about it, he was only repeating the sin he had just seen his father commit with Bathsheba. Just like Amnon called Tamar to his house for unholy reasons, David called Bathsheba to his for those same unholy reasons. David wanted Bathsheba and he took her. In the same way, Amnon wanted Tamar, and so he took her.
Friends, the lesson we can learn from this sad story is twofold:
First of all, it doesn’t matter who we are in this world, there are people who watch us, and if they see us stumble, we give them the message that what we’ve done is okay! And in leading these innocent ones astray, we’ve committed yet another grave sin, for in Jesus’ words: “Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea.” (Matt 18:6-7 NKJV)
Secondly, we must remember that one sin leads to another. When we choose to do wrong, we are opening the door to do more and more wrong. Is it not for naught that Jesus tells us: “If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.” (Matt 5:29-30 NKJV)
And thirdly, we can also learn from this story that when we indulge ourselves, it ALWAYS hurts innocent people. Jesus tells us to “And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'” (Matt 22:39-40 NKJV) If we truly wish to not hurt others, then we must also pay attention to our own actions, for just as Amnon’s passion condemned Tamar to a life of shame, every time we indulge ourselves, we risk hurting those we love.
But Tamar’s shame wasn’t the only bad thing to come out of this incident. David’s moment of indulged passion not only influenced his son to rape Tamar and thus condemning her to a life of shame, but it went even further. Join us next week for LESSONS FROM DAVID’S FALL, Part 4: A Vengeful Brother.
In His love,
Lyn
Lyn Chaffart, Speech-Language Pathologist, mother of two teens, Author and Moderator for The Nugget, a tri-weekly internet newsletter, and Scriptural Nuggets, a website devoted to Christian devotionals and inspirational poems, www.scripturalnuggets.org, with Answers2Prayer Ministries, www.Answers2Prayer.org.
(To access the entire “Lessons From David’s Fall” mini-series, please click here.)