It’s black!”
“No, it’s white!”
“Black!”
“White!”
As the air thickens between my husband and youngest son, I begin to realize something very funny: “Stop, both of you! You’re arguing, but you’re both right! It’s both black and white! It’s actually gray!”
At this point, they generally drop their disagreement, join forces, and begin arguing with…me!
Something that becomes quite apparent as you read the book of Job is that there is an argument in the making. It is a polite argument, with turn taking and listening. But it is an argument, nonetheless.
In our day and age, argument is a prevalent part of our everyday lives. Be it personal arguments with our families, with our coworkers, with our bosses, with the cashier at the grocery store, with our pastors, our friends, our neighbors, and the list could go on and on.
There are a small number of people who make a real effort to stay out of personal arguments, and these are to be commended. But even when not participating, these are surrounded by the arguments of others on all sides.
Is there, perhaps, some words of wisdom to be gleaned from Job’s argument with his three friends, and even with God, that would help us in the arguments we find ourselves involved in or surrounded by daily?
This will be the focus of the next two lessons in this third study from the book of Job: Managing Argument. Our first lesson today takes us to the 21st chapter of Job.
As you read through the book of Job, you will notice that each of his friends speaks in turn, twice, and that Job has a rebuttal each time. Job 21 is, in essence, Job’s rebuttal for Zophar’s most recent attack.
Now Zophar, as he states his case in Job 20, is actually not saying anything that is theologically incorrect. He is simply stating that there will be demise for the wicked. Theologically correct or not, Job has a rebuttal. He is very angry at this point. In fact, to him, all that he hears from his friends is considered a mockery: “Bear with me that I may speak, And after I have spoken, keep mocking.” (Job 21:3 NKJV)
Then Job goes on with his confutation:
“Why do the wicked live and become old, Yes, become mighty in power? Their descendants are established with them in their sight, And their offspring before their eyes. Their houses are safe from fear, Neither is the rod of God upon them…They send forth their little ones like a flock, And their children dance…They spend their days in wealth, And in a moment go down to the grave. Yet they say to God, ‘Depart from us, For we do not desire the knowledge of Your ways. Who is the Almighty, that we should serve Him? And what profit do we have if we pray to Him?'” (Job 21:7-15 NKJV)
Okay, wait a moment. There’s truth in Job’s argument, too! The wicked do get rich, they do, often, live out their days in wealth, they are often very powerful. Yet they often publically say, “I don’t need God”!
So if both of these fine, wise gentlemen are arguing opposite sides of the subject, yet what both of them say is true, then what is missing here?
The answer lies, friends, not in what they said, but in what they don’t say. A vital missing piece of Zophar’s argument is that the final vengeance of the wicked may not come to them until after they die!
And Job? Well he missed a major piece in his argument as well! It’s the piece that says the wicked do, indeed, meet their final vengeance at death!
So what we have here are two people in a heated debate, one so intense that their emotions are escalating to the point that one accuses the other of mockery. But what they are both presenting, when put together, makes a complete picture!
So what is the lesson we can learn from Job chapters 20 and 21, from the passionate dispute between Job and Zophar?
Just this: When we find ourselves in the midst of a fiery argument, we need to do what Job and Zophar did not do: We need to consider that perhaps, just maybe, there is some truth to both sides of the debate, and that quite imaginably, when put together, there is the possibility that both sides of the argument come together to form a complete picture!
I am not a debater. In fact, I steer clear of anything that even vaguely smells of an argument, and I put my efforts into settling them! However, as in my example at the beginning of this devotional, I do hear many of them. And I have noticed, in my observations, exactly the same thing! There is usually an element of truth in what is being said on both sides!
Friends, a lot of bad feelings could be avoided if we would just take a moment to consider the points of our opponents, if we would listen, really listen to what they are saying, searching with an honest heart for anything that could possibly be an element of truth. True enough, it is likely that in most of our arguments, there are elements of truth mixed in with falsehoods, but if we can identify the truth and acknowledge it, we can go a long ways towards resolving, or perhaps even avoiding, much of the conflict that surrounds us in life!
And this is the lesson we can learn from our fierce rivals, Job and Zophar.
But wait. What if you are really focussed on “winning” the debate? Join us next Saturday for some tips in Managing Argument, Part 2.
In His love,
Lyn
Lyn Chaffart, Speech-Language Pathologist, mother of two teens, Author and Moderator for The Nugget, a tri-weekly internet newsletter, and Scriptural Nuggets, a website devoted to Christian devotionals and inspirational poems, with Answers2Prayer Ministries.
(To access the rest of the “Managing Argument” mini-series, please click here.)