I made a mistake that morning…
I had invited my husband to go for a walk with me and our dog, Kia; but he had declined. Given his problems with communication, however, previous such refusals are often followed by him changing his mind. I have learned that after he declines such invitations, if I go and put on my winter ware and then call him down to me to say good-bye, he will then understand what I am doing, and often, he decides to go along. This morning was no different. He came down to tell me good-bye, saw I was dressed in my coat and boots and Kia was wearing her leash, and decided he would go with us. I mentioned that it was cold and he’d need to wear his warm coat, and again he hesitated. That’s when I made my major mistake:
“It’s okay if you don’t want to come for a walk now,” I said. “Your friend Bob will be here this afternoon, and you like going for walks with him!”
Bob, which is not his real name, was his respite worker, and my husband looked forward to his visits every week. And this day was no different. At the mention of Bob, he got excited, declined my invitation to walk with us as he would walk with Bob later, and told us good-bye.
End of story.
Or so I thought ….
When I returned home from our walk, my husband was standing at the door wearing his winter coat…
You see, among other things, dementia has stolen his sense of time; and when I told him the respite worker was coming this afternoon, he interpreted this as, “he’ll be here any minute!” It took me quite a while to convince him that he didn’t want to stand at the door in his coat all the hours it would be before Bob arrived; but eventually he put his coat away and went to do something else.
End of story.
Or so I thought …
30 minutes later I again found him at the door with his winter coat on, and although I managed to get him out of his coat again, he spent the next two hours pacing through the house waiting for his friend to arrive…
Such passion and excitement is often seen in children, who haven’t yet developed their sense of time. You tell them grandma is coming, and they get all excited. Somewhere in life, however, we lose this passion and excitement. Maybe we all need to take some lessons from my husband’s “school of dementia”!
You see, we are all waiting for Someone to come, Someone who is far more important and exciting than my husband’s respite worker. We are awaiting the return of Jesus.
Now I did know when Bob was going to come; but unfortunately no one knows when Jesus will return, not even the Disciples. And they did ask! “His disciples came to him privately and said, ‘Tell us, when will all this happen? ‘” (Matthew 24:3b NLT). Jesus’ response? “…no one knows the day or hour when these things will happen, not even the angels in heaven or the Son himself. Only the Father knows.” (Matthew 24:36 NLT). Nonetheless, He admonished them to be always watchful: “So you, too, must keep watch! For you don’t know what day your Lord is coming.” (Matthew 24:42 NLT)
Well I think my husband was doing a really good job of being watchful…
I am as guilty as the rest. I have let complacency reign in my heart for so many years that it is hard to displace it. After all, I’ve been hearing that Jesus will return all of my life, yet here I am, 62 years old, and He hasn’t arrived. Yet all the signs show that His return is near. Jesus said, “Now learn a lesson from the fig tree. When its branches bud and its leaves begin to sprout, you know that summer is near.” (Matthew 24:32 NLT). In the previous verses, He had outlined wars, famines and earthquakes. He had spoken about the rise of false teachers and even the rise of the antichrist; and in future verses He compared the day of His return to the days of Noah (See Matthew 24). I don’t know about you, but I’ve never seen so many of these signs in my 62 years of life as I see right now! Shouldn’t that be enough to make us shake off our apathy and complacency? Shouldn’t that be all it takes to revive a bit of passion in our hearts? To make us like my husband waiting for Bob to arrive?
And shouldn’t the fact that the end of times is drawing near spur us on in the Great Commission? Don’t we love our fellow lost human beings on this planet enough to want them to be on Jesus’ side upon His return?
Prayer: Oh God! Stir in our hearts a passion for the lost! Deliver us from our complacency! Restore our passion and fervor to that which we had as a child! May we, like my husband, be “standing at the door with our winter coats on”, waiting for your return!
And mental note to self: Next time I wouldn’t tell my husband Bob was coming until 15 minutes before the fact…
In His love,
Lyn
Lynona Gordon Chaffart
Author, Moderator, Acting Director, Answers2Prayer Ministries