I had similar conversations with two different neighbors last week.
The first one, via email, went like this:
Neighbor: The warmer weather has been great for walking but sounds like we might be back to reality next week.
My response: Yes, we have enjoyed the milder spell … but I’m afraid it won’t last!
Please understand that prior to this I had been feeling quite optimistic about things, and to my shame, when I got my neighbor’s email, I didn’t even bother to check the weather report…
The next day I met my second neighbor on the street. Our conversation went like this:
Neighbor: Isn’t the weather great?
My response: Yes, but we are back to reality next week!
Notice I parroted almost word for word what the first neighbor had sent me via email…But also notice my second neighbor’s response to my negative comment…
Neighbor, with a smile: Oh, I know, it is, after all, February, but it won’t last!
Instantly I felt optimistic again.
At this stage, I decided to see what the weather network really said, and yes, they were calling for cooler temperatures again. But only around the freezing mark, certainly not the -10C to -20C we normally experience this time of year!
It made me wonder: Why had I so easily fallen into the trap of pessimism laid by my first neighbor?
Now to his credit, this neighbor never claims to be anything but a pessimist. He has so often said to me that he wishes he could see things with my innate optimism. In fact, he will usually finish that statement by thanking me for giving him another perspective on things!
That is the power of words! Our words, whether optimistic or pessimistic, have an impact on people! When we feel down, we have the power, with our words alone, to bring others down as well! Yet the opposite is also true. Our words alone can also lift people back up out of their pessimism and give them hope.
Not only do our initial words have the power to bring people down or lift them up, but our response to negative — or positive — comments and situations also have the power to turn things around! Just like my pessimistic neighbor usually thanks me for countering his pessimism with optimism, my response to the change in weather could have been such that it would have lifted him back up! Instead, I just fed his pessimism…
Interestingly, a brief glance at the weather network might have alleviated my weather-related depression as well. We can’t take things at face value. We must check them out ourselves! And even if what we are hearing proves to be 100% true, then we still have the choice, just like my second neighbor, to turn things around rather than letting it bring us down, so that our responses don’t feed the negativity of the ones we are interacting with!
The world’s wisest man puts it this way: “There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, But the tongue of the wise brings healing.” (Prov. 12:18 NASB).
But wait. It’s just words, right? I mean, how serious can this be?
Pretty serious indeed. Jesus puts it this way: “For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” (Matthew 12:37 NASB).
Why? Because being responsible for bringing someone else down, whether in words or in actions, is a serious crime indeed! “It is inevitable that stumbling blocks come, but woe to one through whom they come! It is better for him if a millstone is hung around his neck and he is thrown into the sea, than that he may cause one of these little ones to sin.” (Luke 17:1-2 NASB)
This is why the Apostle Paul advises us: “Let no unwholesome word come out of your mouth, but if there is any good word for edification according to the need of the moment, say that, so that it will give grace to those who hear.” (Ephesians 4:29 NASB)
My response to my first neighbor was not meant to bring him further down. It was simply an un-thought-out, off-the-cuff response. How much better for us to again follow the advice of the world’s wisest man: “The one who guards his mouth preserves his life; the one who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.” (Proverbs 13:3 NASB)!
Let’s be a bit more like my second neighbor: Speaking positive words and rebuking the negative ones we may hear! For when we do, we will be building people up, giving grace to those who hear, and also, preserving our own lives!
In His love,
Lyn
Lynona Gordon Chaffart
Author, Moderator, Acting Director, Answers2Prayer Ministries
