(Written December 2023)
As the end of the year approaches, I tend to get a bit reflective. What have I accomplished this year?
One of the first things that jumps to my mind is that I’ve retaken up horseback riding! When the kids were young the three of us rode together quite a bit, but after they left home, there were a variety of reasons why I stopped riding. This year, after learning that my husband’s therapeutic riding stable also offered lessons for able-bodied riders, and especially after they brought in a new horse, one that appeared tailor-made for me, and assigned him to me, I have renewed my riding passion.
I have fallen off horses before. Mostly I didn’t injure myself; but once I seriously sprained my ankle and once I broke my collarbone. This may have played a role in me stopping; but for the life of me, right now even that doesn’t seem like a good enough reason! And I am happy to report that over the past nine months since I resumed this passion, I haven’t fallen off my saddle!
Or at least, I haven’t fallen off the saddled tied to my physical horse…
Years give us bad times as well as good; and to be honest, this one feels like there are more bad times than good! Especially since my husband’s cognition seems to have taken the “diamond hill” ski slope in downward movement.
A few weeks ago (Written December 2023), we began a fasting and prayer group for my husband’s healing. I wish I could say that the results are in and he has received his promised healing; but that would be a serious exaggeration. But there have been improvements, ones that can’t be explained by science! Another significant gain since this group was started has been in my faith.
The Bible says, “…for we walk by faith, not by sight…” (2 Corinthians 5:7 NASB). I don’t know about you, but this has not been my faith experience. It’s far easier to preach about walking by faith than to practice it! As long as it looks like prayers are being answered, I sit up tall in the “saddle” of my faith “horse”, praising God and thanking Him for growing my faith. But the moment I no longer see those prayers being answered, I come off my spiritual high as fast as if I’d been thrown from a horse…
Since the onset of this group, God has been speaking to me about walking by faith and not by sight. I won’t say it’s been an easy road, but for the most part, I’ve been staying in the saddle of my faith “horse”. That all changed this past Christmas Day. The tiniest little thing blindsided me, spooked my faith “horse”, and sent me flying through the air. Only this time I didn’t land on the ground; rather, at the bottom of some pitch black abyss. My faith wasn’t weak, it was non-existent! I no longer believed God’s promise; in fact, was angry at God for making a promise He so obviously wasn’t “keeping”. I was walking by sight and not by faith, and I went so far down that road that I didn’t even want to get back in the faith “saddle”!
This went on for most of the day, and as I found myself once again “yelling” at God, a voice screamed in my ear: “Do you still hold firm your integrity? Curse God and die!” (Job 2:9 NASB). I pulled up short and the angry words came to an abrupt halt as I realized something vitally important: I didn’t want to curse God! I just wanted Him to … give me my way!
How wrong is that???!!!
I repented right then and there, and I responded as Job of old: “The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away. Blessed be the name of the LORD.” (Job 1:21 NASB). After all, “Shall we actually accept good from God but not accept adversity?” (Job 2:10 NASB).
I was calmer then, and God began to speak to me of His love for me and for my husband, “Greater love has no one than this, that a person will lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13 NASB). This pulled me out of that dark abyss, and I could hear God asking me once again to walk by faith and not by sight…
I got back in the proverbial “saddle”, atop my faith “horse” then. Anyone surprised that God began giving me assurances from every angle?
I don’t know what the New Year with bring, but I want to walk with God throughout it — but by faith, and not by sight! I want to stay on my faith “horse”! I’m pretty sure I will still have weak moments, but for now, I’m firmly “back in the saddle”!
This is my message to each of you today: Whatever comes your way in the upcoming year, “stay in the saddle”! Focus on God, not on the circumstances. Keep your eyes on Jesus, not on the waves and the wind. Ride onward and forward, ever knowing that, “And without faith it is impossible to please Him…” (Hebrews 11:6a NASB), and that, “…faith is the certainty of things hoped for, a proof of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1 NASB). Remember: “All things are possible for the one who believes.” (Mark 9:23 NASB), and “…for truly I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you.” (Matthew 17:20b-21 NASB).
Anyone care to join me in “mounting up” this year? In “riding” by faith and not by sight? In staying in the saddle of your faith “horse”?
In His love,
Lyn
Lynona Gordon Chaffart
Author, Moderator, Acting Director, Answers2Prayer Ministries
