2024 is just around the corner. What is your wish for the New Year? What will your resolution be?
15 days before Christmas in 2022, my oldest son got married. It was a small wedding, and since the bride’s family was in Asia at the time and wouldn’t be able to attend, I took on the responsibility of helping the kids plan and carry out the ceremony. This, of course, pushed me way out of my comfort zone. I’m not the most creative person in the best of times, and when I learned how important it was that every part of the ceremony be perfect, as per the cultural standards of the bride, well I was pretty panicky. Especially since I had been asked to cater and make the cake, and the food to be served was an ethnic dish that I had only just learned existed and had never seen served.
I pushed through. I couldn’t let the kids down. I worked my fingers to the bone, I burned the candle at both ends, I struggled to keep my head above water and to reduce their stress at the same time, and the big day finally arrived. God was good, He provided so many blessings, not the least of which was my sister-in-law who decorated the hall. Unlike me, she is a very creative person, and by the end of the day before the wedding, that hall was completely transformed.
The food came together too. Most of it was pre-prepared, and my only job was to make its presentation pretty … Again, my stress spiked. How could I make it look pretty when I wasn’t creative? When I had never seen the proper presentation of this particular dish?
Then there was the cake and cupcakes. I made them a couple days in advance, and given the packed-full state of my fridge, I put them in bags in the garage to stay cool. Imagine my horror to realize the night before the wedding, just as I was headed out to pick up my kids from Western Canada from the airport, that the main cake had fallen onto the ground and I had – run over it with the car! “No worries, mom!” my son assured me. “My friend will come over and make a new one.” What he didn’t tell me was that his friend had never baked a cake before… And the next morning I discovered that the cake had over risen due to too much baking soda, it had then fallen, and it wasn’t even cooked in the middle… My kids from out west came to the rescue then. They went out and bought a cake, which they proceeded to de-ice so that it could be frosted with the prepared whipping cream frosting…
The maid of honour arrived late from out of town, resulting in the rehearsal being late, making a domino effect on the rest of the day; but you can imagine my horror when 6:00 pm arrived without a single guest! I would soon learn my son had told them all 6:30 … Then came the disaster with the livestream to the bride’s family in Asia. Unfortunately no one had thought to set that up in advance…
I don’t know about you, but when I’ve been in the spot light for some reason, I often have an emotional crash in the aftermath, and this wedding was no exception. All I could think about was how badly I had failed… And the fact that everyone told me it went beautifully was no consolation. Naturally they were only saying those things to make me feel good…
A couple days went by and I was continuing to beat myself up about what I termed “the great wedding failure”. Imagine my consternation when I sat down to have some time with God, and realized He wanted to talk about … that! No, God! Not that!
But He was persistent, and so I began blubbering about all the failures. He didn’t let me get too far, however, for I could feel His overwhelming presence. As I quieted my thoughts, I heard clearly: “Did you do the best you could?” Well, yes, I had done the best I possibly could…. “Did I not create you and give you your strengths and talents and abilities?” Well, yes, I suppose You did … “Then if I gave you your abilities and you used them to the best of your ability, how can you say your efforts were subpar?”
I realized then what my negative self-talk truly was: It was a slap in the face to my Creator!
I hope that this little scene will stay with me forever, and that God will bring it to my memory every time I begin to be down about myself…
So many of us suffer from low self-esteem and negative self-image. It is a real epidemic that is highly responsible for the rampant depression and escalating numbers of suicides. If we would only see ourselves the way God sees us, if we would recognize that God made us the way we are, and that as long as we use our God-given abilities to best of our ability to His glory, then we are accomplishing our God-given purpose. It doesn’t matter if something goes wrong. Things will always go wrong. What matters is that, “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might…” (Eccl. 9:10a NASB)! For when we do, there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Our God rejoices in our efforts, and it makes Him happy when we do the best we can.
Remember: “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.” (Ephesians 2:10 NASB). And when we do walk in them, we bring honour and glory to our Father in Heaven.
As the New Year approaches, I challenge everyone struggling with low self-esteem and poor self-image to remember this. The next time you are tempted to come down hard on yourself, remember: God made you the way you are, and as long as you are doing your best, you can’t go wrong!
In His love,
Lyn
Lynona Gordon Chaffart
Author, Moderator, Acting Director, Answers2Prayer Ministries
